I remember many moons ago having dealt extensively on the laws of Darwin and how simple observation of turtles, mutant or otherwise and the fact that de-tailed rats did not beget rats in detail it was decided aboard the Beagle off the coast of the Galapagos that stupid people ensured our survival by killing themselves in the absurdest of manners. The Darwin Awards.
And many moons ago I also remember waxing eloquent on the sorry state of an auto driver who had a bottle stuffed where the sun apparently didn't shine.
In a strange amalgamation of these two we present two absolute cretins who graced the Emergency last night.
Names have been kept confidential since I don't remember them but with all due respect for privacy you pervs don't get to see any pics.
Ladies and Gentlemen, if you've all digested your meals I'd like to present exhibit A.
Moron child of the decade. Was playing at a car repair shop with other moron children of the decade. So these representatives of the not-so-full-decks decided to fool around (like they were capable of anything else) with the high pressure air hose. Threatened, hopefully in jest, the initial moron child, with introduction of the hose where, you got it, the sun don't shine. Now I think it was survival instinct that made the protagonist of this story get into some kind of scuffle, which ended with him developing a rent in his scrotum. Just the skin. Now this bit of the skin is continuous with that of the anterior abdominal wall the deeper layers are not and are attached in and around the groin. So if this layer is inflated at 60 psi, in a matter of a few seconds moron child develops subcutaneous emphysema that freaks everyone in Casualty out before someone decides to take a good history.
So ends story one... nothing exceedingly untoward, the boy recovered and is under observation. but like dealing with the mafia, a slip could have landed the hose in deep shit. And the boy.
Exhibit B is a tad more stupid.
But before we launch into the gory details of this expendable specimen of the race one has to ponder why is it that we as surgeons, and on a broader scale as doctors subjected to events and people who force us to keep a straight face when all we want to be doing is rotfl. Much as I detest that word, it does manage to describe what we'd like to be doing, in the most insensitive manner and thus bringing the hounds of hell on ourselves.
Exhibit B was wheeled in to Casualty and placed in a discreet corner, not 20 minutes after exhibit A's spectacular entry. This one at a glance appeared to be your average peri-pubescent imbecile with two legs, a penis and what appeared to be a toilet brush sticking out of his nether. On closer examination we found he had 2 legs, a penis and a toilet brush (with the handle in the inside) sticking out of his nether. Turns out that his friends told him that it was a fun thing to do. Loosely translated, of course, from "mazaa aaega".
A great mind once said that stupidity is a problem that'll solve itself if we took the safety labels off of everything.
A greater mind said that every new and improved idiot proof product will give rise to an new and improved idiot.
On a complete aside a small voice says that the chom problem is just about beginning to take care of itself.
And many moons ago I also remember waxing eloquent on the sorry state of an auto driver who had a bottle stuffed where the sun apparently didn't shine.
In a strange amalgamation of these two we present two absolute cretins who graced the Emergency last night.
Names have been kept confidential since I don't remember them but with all due respect for privacy you pervs don't get to see any pics.
Ladies and Gentlemen, if you've all digested your meals I'd like to present exhibit A.
Moron child of the decade. Was playing at a car repair shop with other moron children of the decade. So these representatives of the not-so-full-decks decided to fool around (like they were capable of anything else) with the high pressure air hose. Threatened, hopefully in jest, the initial moron child, with introduction of the hose where, you got it, the sun don't shine. Now I think it was survival instinct that made the protagonist of this story get into some kind of scuffle, which ended with him developing a rent in his scrotum. Just the skin. Now this bit of the skin is continuous with that of the anterior abdominal wall the deeper layers are not and are attached in and around the groin. So if this layer is inflated at 60 psi, in a matter of a few seconds moron child develops subcutaneous emphysema that freaks everyone in Casualty out before someone decides to take a good history.
So ends story one... nothing exceedingly untoward, the boy recovered and is under observation. but like dealing with the mafia, a slip could have landed the hose in deep shit. And the boy.
Exhibit B is a tad more stupid.
But before we launch into the gory details of this expendable specimen of the race one has to ponder why is it that we as surgeons, and on a broader scale as doctors subjected to events and people who force us to keep a straight face when all we want to be doing is rotfl. Much as I detest that word, it does manage to describe what we'd like to be doing, in the most insensitive manner and thus bringing the hounds of hell on ourselves.
Exhibit B was wheeled in to Casualty and placed in a discreet corner, not 20 minutes after exhibit A's spectacular entry. This one at a glance appeared to be your average peri-pubescent imbecile with two legs, a penis and what appeared to be a toilet brush sticking out of his nether. On closer examination we found he had 2 legs, a penis and a toilet brush (with the handle in the inside) sticking out of his nether. Turns out that his friends told him that it was a fun thing to do. Loosely translated, of course, from "mazaa aaega".
A great mind once said that stupidity is a problem that'll solve itself if we took the safety labels off of everything.
A greater mind said that every new and improved idiot proof product will give rise to an new and improved idiot.
On a complete aside a small voice says that the chom problem is just about beginning to take care of itself.
