Ok I'm sick and dying and have dragged myself out of bed to blog, of all things. Must be the loser-est person in the world. But the virus that I've so often mentioned has managed to replace thoughts of both the waiters and the fundamentalists. There's been this thought forming in my brain (buzz. redundancy thoughts can't form elsewhere. Of course they can. Any man would know they have 2 centres for thinking, but only enough blood to run one at a time). But I digress, back to the thought it about weird cures I've come across. I'll put down a few, my no means exhaustive or arranged in any order of preference, so here goes.

1) The hyderabadi fish. There is this fish. It's fed some many things. Then swallowed, live, by asthmatics with reportedly excellent cure rates... I'm thinking, the poor creatures. Wanted to protest but then found out that the Human Rights Commission and the SPCA were arguing about who had it worse. Once they settle that I'll join the winner and add my voice supporting the fish. I read somewhere that if one swallowed a live toad every morning then nothing worse could happen to them during the rest of the day. Could this be working on that principle?

2) Homeopathy. Ok I know there are a lot of people out there who believe in Dr. Batra, or Bakson's or whichever lesser known practitioner of the art, but still... similia similibus curentur... Like cures like. Its based on a premise that small amounts of a substance that when given to normal people , gives rise to a mild form of disease, can cure the disease in the ailing. Beer, ladies and gentlemen, is then homeopathy. And if anybody remembers this nice program on DD (good ol' mickey and donald, vikram and betal, gayab and aaye DD) called Turning Point... They featured this cockroach farm in Pune that breeds the bastards so bits a pieces of them can go into those little white pills.

3)Reiki. Dude you gotta be kidding. Again a lot of believers and practioners and even allegedly cured patients but seriously... All due respect but if there's energy flowing around you and your home you need to get an exorcist or an electrician. Not direct it at someone else! (Ok I confess... for those of you who thought that was funny, I borrowed it from this book called 'I moved your cheese' For those who didn't, don't blame me, it's not my line.)

4)Assorted holistic healing with magnets, pendulums, fans of peacock tails, the blood of a 10 week black rooster (easily got in these troubled times), yada yada...

On a slightly less jovial and less critical note, I do agree that some of these do work especially in people, actually only in people who believe that they would be cured by their method of choice (it's called placebo, when people get well with [replace with with for for some fun] no apparent reason.) But the next guy who claims he can cure AIDS or cancer by either feeding people fish, sugar pills or putting them in alignment with ley-line is going to get it.

If anybody can think of weird cures send them along. Will add to the list.

Comments on comments : Dibs - what huh?
Anon - nice with the vodka materwelon.
Anon2 - Of all the characters in the world you had to pick the most irritating thing in the entire star wars universe.... why jar jar my peaceful world?

Adios amigos...