Was playing the loserest (yes, I like this word) version of solitaire... for those of you who want to feel better, its single card, non-timed, standard scoring... and occasionally losing when I remembered this story.
A friend of mine walked into her home one evening and found her goldfish lying outside the bowl, dead (duh.). She did the whole distraught calling deal and finally scooped the piscean into a plastic bag and dumped him in the nearest trash bin. But something felt wrong... why would a goldfish that lived in a clean bowl, had fresh water and those delicious fishfood pellets in near unlimited supply decide to jump out of the bowl? Before some smart alec goes how do you know he jumped? Because the bowl and the water are intact and Sherlock, its a goldfish not a flying fish. I think its sheer boredom. The ennui killed the fish. (Just wanted to use that word there. Think its a really interesting word...)
Now scientifically speaking the average goldfish has a short-medium term memory of about 3 seconds. A really smart one might reach five. An interesting corollary to this is that if you put two of them in a large bowl, almost every time they swim around and see each other its like a first meeting. They made a Drew Barrymore movie with a similar theme... I digress, the point of all this is how can a 5 second memory entity get bored? And so bored that it killed itself?
Bottom line I just think its a story that my friend's potential fiance should know.
Couple of Asides here's poem I read a while back... (the source of the Ennui)
A is for Alice who fell down the stairs,
B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
C is for Clara who wasted away,
D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.
G is for George smothered under a rug,
H is for Hector done in by a thug.
I is for Ida, who drown in a lake,
J is for James, who took lye by mistake.
K is for Kate, who was struck with an axe,
L is for Leo, who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maud, who was swept out to sea,
N is for Nevil who died of ennui.
O is for Olive, run through with an awl,
P is for Pru, tramped flat in a brawl.
Q is for Quinton, who sank in a mire,
R is for Rhoda, consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan, who perished of fits,
T is for Titus, who flew into bits.
U is for Una, who slipped down a drain,
V is for Victor, squashed under a train.
W is for Winnie, imbedded in ice,
X is for Xerces, devoured by mice.
Y is for Yoric, whose head was bashed in,
Z is for Zilla, who drank too much gin.
Edward Gorey (1925-2000)
And there's a film called Goldfish Memory that centres around single people in Ireland and their love lives and how its a mad dating game with everybody involved behaving like they have... well goldfish memories.
And finally someone trained a goldfish to push a lever for food and has now inferred that they may remember things for up to three months. There goes my theory.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
All that Jazz
Now with a title as cliched as that what else could I be talking about outside of some concert that I attended. It was by this band called nu Box. Now they were earlier Blue Box and have, after adding an interesting new member to their lineup decided to become nu Box. A million lines about nu box and old box are sprouting in my head but I'll pass as of now. Ok I lost the brochure that they gave so I dont know what their names are. Was never big with the foreign names. I mean its bad enough not being able to understand their accented english, to be able to extract a name out of that is impossible. Anyway the point is they have a guy on this cool electric double bass. That's like a regular double bass with a lot less wood and a cable coming out of it. One man on a trumpet that he kept trying to stifle by stuffing implements of various shapes and sizes into the noisemaking end of the trumpet. Will be nice and say I think he was changing the quality of the sound coming out. Then another man on drums, keyboards and programming. He's the man. sits on this keyboard(like a yamaha, not a qwerty you geeky bastards) and iBook (another indication that any entertainment/multimedia related application requires a Mac), programs a nice backing rhythm and some keys and then sits on the drums to play his thing(sorry if that came out the way I think it has).
Now these three men, if the pamphlet I lost is to be believed, are trained accomplished classical musicians who, apart from having learnt music formally and composed many a tune of note, also teach at the university of Essen (I think). Oh how I wish it was Bremen so they'd be the three musicians of Bremen, which is a different story altogether. The Fourth guy is the dude. all of some 25-26 years old, he sits on a DJ console and does things to the jazz the other three play that completely altered my perception of what jazz could acutally be.
I don't like using the terms classical or mainstream jazz since jazz is all about changing, improvising and bringing in new variations everytime. These fellows call their music dance jazz or electronica jazz, either way they were great. The typical song would start with DJ boy and drummer slowly establishing a rhythm, bassie kicking in with some neat grooves and finally the trumpet making music. There was this one song I remember where everybody was out there on stage doing their own thing when the DJ mixes in Milkshake (by Kelis). Awesome...
It didnt help of course that before the concert I was at an unlimited champagne brunch funded by the progenitors.... and I'd more or less had unlimited champagne...
The virus has all but gone, leaving behind a blocked nose and a fading writer's block.
That's all folks.
See you later, Crocodile. - King Julian XIII, Self-proclaimed order of the Lemurs
Now these three men, if the pamphlet I lost is to be believed, are trained accomplished classical musicians who, apart from having learnt music formally and composed many a tune of note, also teach at the university of Essen (I think). Oh how I wish it was Bremen so they'd be the three musicians of Bremen, which is a different story altogether. The Fourth guy is the dude. all of some 25-26 years old, he sits on a DJ console and does things to the jazz the other three play that completely altered my perception of what jazz could acutally be.
I don't like using the terms classical or mainstream jazz since jazz is all about changing, improvising and bringing in new variations everytime. These fellows call their music dance jazz or electronica jazz, either way they were great. The typical song would start with DJ boy and drummer slowly establishing a rhythm, bassie kicking in with some neat grooves and finally the trumpet making music. There was this one song I remember where everybody was out there on stage doing their own thing when the DJ mixes in Milkshake (by Kelis). Awesome...
It didnt help of course that before the concert I was at an unlimited champagne brunch funded by the progenitors.... and I'd more or less had unlimited champagne...
The virus has all but gone, leaving behind a blocked nose and a fading writer's block.
That's all folks.
See you later, Crocodile. - King Julian XIII, Self-proclaimed order of the Lemurs
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Ok I'm sick and dying and have dragged myself out of bed to blog, of all things. Must be the loser-est person in the world. But the virus that I've so often mentioned has managed to replace thoughts of both the waiters and the fundamentalists. There's been this thought forming in my brain (buzz. redundancy thoughts can't form elsewhere. Of course they can. Any man would know they have 2 centres for thinking, but only enough blood to run one at a time). But I digress, back to the thought it about weird cures I've come across. I'll put down a few, my no means exhaustive or arranged in any order of preference, so here goes.
1) The hyderabadi fish. There is this fish. It's fed some many things. Then swallowed, live, by asthmatics with reportedly excellent cure rates... I'm thinking, the poor creatures. Wanted to protest but then found out that the Human Rights Commission and the SPCA were arguing about who had it worse. Once they settle that I'll join the winner and add my voice supporting the fish. I read somewhere that if one swallowed a live toad every morning then nothing worse could happen to them during the rest of the day. Could this be working on that principle?
2) Homeopathy. Ok I know there are a lot of people out there who believe in Dr. Batra, or Bakson's or whichever lesser known practitioner of the art, but still... similia similibus curentur... Like cures like. Its based on a premise that small amounts of a substance that when given to normal people , gives rise to a mild form of disease, can cure the disease in the ailing. Beer, ladies and gentlemen, is then homeopathy. And if anybody remembers this nice program on DD (good ol' mickey and donald, vikram and betal, gayab and aaye DD) called Turning Point... They featured this cockroach farm in Pune that breeds the bastards so bits a pieces of them can go into those little white pills.
3)Reiki. Dude you gotta be kidding. Again a lot of believers and practioners and even allegedly cured patients but seriously... All due respect but if there's energy flowing around you and your home you need to get an exorcist or an electrician. Not direct it at someone else! (Ok I confess... for those of you who thought that was funny, I borrowed it from this book called 'I moved your cheese' For those who didn't, don't blame me, it's not my line.)
4)Assorted holistic healing with magnets, pendulums, fans of peacock tails, the blood of a 10 week black rooster (easily got in these troubled times), yada yada...
On a slightly less jovial and less critical note, I do agree that some of these do work especially in people, actually only in people who believe that they would be cured by their method of choice (it's called placebo, when people get well with [replace with with for for some fun] no apparent reason.) But the next guy who claims he can cure AIDS or cancer by either feeding people fish, sugar pills or putting them in alignment with ley-line is going to get it.
If anybody can think of weird cures send them along. Will add to the list.
Comments on comments : Dibs - what huh?
Anon - nice with the vodka materwelon.
Anon2 - Of all the characters in the world you had to pick the most irritating thing in the entire star wars universe.... why jar jar my peaceful world?
Adios amigos...
1) The hyderabadi fish. There is this fish. It's fed some many things. Then swallowed, live, by asthmatics with reportedly excellent cure rates... I'm thinking, the poor creatures. Wanted to protest but then found out that the Human Rights Commission and the SPCA were arguing about who had it worse. Once they settle that I'll join the winner and add my voice supporting the fish. I read somewhere that if one swallowed a live toad every morning then nothing worse could happen to them during the rest of the day. Could this be working on that principle?
2) Homeopathy. Ok I know there are a lot of people out there who believe in Dr. Batra, or Bakson's or whichever lesser known practitioner of the art, but still... similia similibus curentur... Like cures like. Its based on a premise that small amounts of a substance that when given to normal people , gives rise to a mild form of disease, can cure the disease in the ailing. Beer, ladies and gentlemen, is then homeopathy. And if anybody remembers this nice program on DD (good ol' mickey and donald, vikram and betal, gayab and aaye DD) called Turning Point... They featured this cockroach farm in Pune that breeds the bastards so bits a pieces of them can go into those little white pills.
3)Reiki. Dude you gotta be kidding. Again a lot of believers and practioners and even allegedly cured patients but seriously... All due respect but if there's energy flowing around you and your home you need to get an exorcist or an electrician. Not direct it at someone else! (Ok I confess... for those of you who thought that was funny, I borrowed it from this book called 'I moved your cheese' For those who didn't, don't blame me, it's not my line.)
4)Assorted holistic healing with magnets, pendulums, fans of peacock tails, the blood of a 10 week black rooster (easily got in these troubled times), yada yada...
On a slightly less jovial and less critical note, I do agree that some of these do work especially in people, actually only in people who believe that they would be cured by their method of choice (it's called placebo, when people get well with [replace with with for for some fun] no apparent reason.) But the next guy who claims he can cure AIDS or cancer by either feeding people fish, sugar pills or putting them in alignment with ley-line is going to get it.
If anybody can think of weird cures send them along. Will add to the list.
Comments on comments : Dibs - what huh?
Anon - nice with the vodka materwelon.
Anon2 - Of all the characters in the world you had to pick the most irritating thing in the entire star wars universe.... why jar jar my peaceful world?
Adios amigos...
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Avian Influenza Virus
Had seriously considered writing about either waiters (yeah its not a typo) or this concept of mine called atheistic fundamentalism. But all those plans have been successfully scuttled thanks to nasty flu. Nope its not the bird one this time... or at least I hope. Just a bad viral with the usual constellation of fever, a dripping nose and some insane body ache. On an aside why can you win a 100m dash when you have a cold?
cos you have a running nose and a racing pulse...
Sorry about that but misery they say loves company.
The irony of the whole thing is that for centuries people have been advocating the one and only panacea for a cold as chicken soup. But now with the avain flu virus (see no more birds flying) there is no chicken soup... So I'm stuck with the pharmacopoeia (bugger all spelling) off assorted antihistamines, decongestants (that can cause a stroke apparently if overused), antipyretics and even a less regulated congener of morphine. No I can't tell you what its called. Would have to kill you if I did... Oh and orange juice - tons of it.
Speaking of unconventional remedies was subjected to our very own materfamilias claiming that the best thing to do when in an unknown country and suffering from loosies was to drink beer. That's right mom's promoting alcoholism. She does have a point though. It rehydrates, gives you electrolytes, a few vitamins and a little energy and before somebody starts claiming that is makes one pee, that's ensuring that the kidneys work in a state of potential dehydration. So armed with this knowledge I went out into the world to spread the light... Unfortunately it didn't go down too well.
Thought for the day (and I quote) : 26 is not a bad age to be... if you have to count up to 30 you can on the fingers of one hand and still have a finger left...
Going back to viruses... had another thought (digression warning) ...Outside of prostitutes the highest occupational risk of contracting either Hepatitis B or C or HIV is probably in surgeons. Divine justice?
Anyway my head feels heavy and I feel sick so me off. Will ponder on the waiters and the fundamentalists.
If I don't ever write again... just assume my bird flu.
cos you have a running nose and a racing pulse...
Sorry about that but misery they say loves company.
The irony of the whole thing is that for centuries people have been advocating the one and only panacea for a cold as chicken soup. But now with the avain flu virus (see no more birds flying) there is no chicken soup... So I'm stuck with the pharmacopoeia (bugger all spelling) off assorted antihistamines, decongestants (that can cause a stroke apparently if overused), antipyretics and even a less regulated congener of morphine. No I can't tell you what its called. Would have to kill you if I did... Oh and orange juice - tons of it.
Speaking of unconventional remedies was subjected to our very own materfamilias claiming that the best thing to do when in an unknown country and suffering from loosies was to drink beer. That's right mom's promoting alcoholism. She does have a point though. It rehydrates, gives you electrolytes, a few vitamins and a little energy and before somebody starts claiming that is makes one pee, that's ensuring that the kidneys work in a state of potential dehydration. So armed with this knowledge I went out into the world to spread the light... Unfortunately it didn't go down too well.
Thought for the day (and I quote) : 26 is not a bad age to be... if you have to count up to 30 you can on the fingers of one hand and still have a finger left...
Going back to viruses... had another thought (digression warning) ...Outside of prostitutes the highest occupational risk of contracting either Hepatitis B or C or HIV is probably in surgeons. Divine justice?
Anyway my head feels heavy and I feel sick so me off. Will ponder on the waiters and the fundamentalists.
If I don't ever write again... just assume my bird flu.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Verbs, My Tea House and Bergamot
Was thinking this morning as I have on many such mornings that language like everything else since Darwin saw his first iguana on the turtle-infested island, has been evolving. To some it's the final conclusive proof of the theory of natural selection and survival of the fittest (if fitness is a function of numbers...). Others like yours truly are beginning to feel like the dodo. Or at least beginning to understand why the dumb bird chose extinction (No, there will be no bird flu jokes... on an aside the dodo isn't a bird that flew). Take the single largest spoken and understood language in the world - English. Yes, I accept that it's never really spoken the way it should be and more often misunderstood but when compared to Swahili and the many mutually exclusive tribal tongues of Nagaland it's pretty much the most used.
The point of this all being that no one can really speak (or write) in the language no more. Take me for instance. For a while I honestly believed that all conversation could be condensed to three verbs - send, put and happen. For example,
Me : Dude, what's happening?
Someone like me : Nothing really, why?
Me : Cool, let's put plan and go send some beer.
Not that it's a bad idea... its a great one... but why did it have to be said that way... Emailing and IRC and of late SMS have converted language into a vowel free communication tool. See below...
Got this one the other day - "Wru". I rest my case. How much longer with the T9 predictive text working does it take to send "Where are you" instead? I do agree it gets the point across but so does pictionary. Don't see us carrying blackboards around. And spelling? Got this one too "In a bd md. plz bare with me." I went "hmmm!!" before I realised the error.
Where it goes from here I really don't know but till then we'll try keeping things the way they used to be.
On a lighter note discovered a really nice tea shop (not the two rupee roadside kadai variety, love those but not those). Swanky little thing called My Tea House. Really nice. Quiet, yet undiscovered by the seventeen-year-olds and their girlfriends. And good tea. Had an Earl Grey. Black. And now have learnt that it containts the extract of the rind of an orange (Citrus aurantium, the bergamot Orange) and some ten theories that involve Charles II, Charles Grey, Staunton etc as to it's origin. Whatever it be, its a good tea. In stark contrast to the thrice boiled tea dust filtered through a bit of someone's second hand mundu or lungi or what not, with lots of sugar and some dry ginger powder for effect. Before the bretheren go up in arms screaming traitor, I like both.
The fever of yesterday's gone down. Got beaten up for the flu pun. The noxious cocktail worked as did some twelve hours of sleep.
The point of this all being that no one can really speak (or write) in the language no more. Take me for instance. For a while I honestly believed that all conversation could be condensed to three verbs - send, put and happen. For example,
Me : Dude, what's happening?
Someone like me : Nothing really, why?
Me : Cool, let's put plan and go send some beer.
Not that it's a bad idea... its a great one... but why did it have to be said that way... Emailing and IRC and of late SMS have converted language into a vowel free communication tool. See below...
Got this one the other day - "Wru". I rest my case. How much longer with the T9 predictive text working does it take to send "Where are you" instead? I do agree it gets the point across but so does pictionary. Don't see us carrying blackboards around. And spelling? Got this one too "In a bd md. plz bare with me." I went "hmmm!!" before I realised the error.
Where it goes from here I really don't know but till then we'll try keeping things the way they used to be.
On a lighter note discovered a really nice tea shop (not the two rupee roadside kadai variety, love those but not those). Swanky little thing called My Tea House. Really nice. Quiet, yet undiscovered by the seventeen-year-olds and their girlfriends. And good tea. Had an Earl Grey. Black. And now have learnt that it containts the extract of the rind of an orange (Citrus aurantium, the bergamot Orange) and some ten theories that involve Charles II, Charles Grey, Staunton etc as to it's origin. Whatever it be, its a good tea. In stark contrast to the thrice boiled tea dust filtered through a bit of someone's second hand mundu or lungi or what not, with lots of sugar and some dry ginger powder for effect. Before the bretheren go up in arms screaming traitor, I like both.
The fever of yesterday's gone down. Got beaten up for the flu pun. The noxious cocktail worked as did some twelve hours of sleep.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Tried and tested...
Listened to the album I mentioned yesterday. The John Mayer Trio - TRY! Good stuff. The boy's shed that teen pop image and has grown into a brilliant blues/rock 'n' roll guitarist. The album has some nice rock enriched covers of Hendrix and Ray Charles and some of Mayer's own work (Daughters and Something's Missing). Steve Jordan (drums) and Pino Palladino (bass) complement him superbly to create what can be simply described as 'good stuff'!
Mayer's voice though is still a bit of a let down... He is an excellent singer, no doubts about that. I heard 'you're body's a wonderland' and 'why georgia' first so I tend to associate his voice best with such songs... For the rocky renditions this time around his voice falters. Though the guitarwork more than makes up for that, one does feel the lacuna of a good voice in the trio.
Bottom line(s).. if you like good guitar intensive rock, pick it up. If you believe that John Mayer is best with a thousand swooning teenage girls, most of them without even a chance in a million of having a body resembling any kind of wonderland, then forget it.
About hangover cures.... no matter what the world says about coffee, orange juice, multivitamins, Jeeves' pick-me-up, water, the powder from some himalayan herb... the only thing that really works is another shot of the vodka watermelon... Alcoholically yours.
Have a feeling that I'm coming down with a viral fever. Time to concoct my elixir involving numerous nefarious phamacological products of doubtful FDA approval.
PS think my bird flu?
Mayer's voice though is still a bit of a let down... He is an excellent singer, no doubts about that. I heard 'you're body's a wonderland' and 'why georgia' first so I tend to associate his voice best with such songs... For the rocky renditions this time around his voice falters. Though the guitarwork more than makes up for that, one does feel the lacuna of a good voice in the trio.
Bottom line(s).. if you like good guitar intensive rock, pick it up. If you believe that John Mayer is best with a thousand swooning teenage girls, most of them without even a chance in a million of having a body resembling any kind of wonderland, then forget it.
About hangover cures.... no matter what the world says about coffee, orange juice, multivitamins, Jeeves' pick-me-up, water, the powder from some himalayan herb... the only thing that really works is another shot of the vodka watermelon... Alcoholically yours.
Have a feeling that I'm coming down with a viral fever. Time to concoct my elixir involving numerous nefarious phamacological products of doubtful FDA approval.
PS think my bird flu?
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Vodka Watermelon...
Take a decent sized watermelon, cut a small window. Take a bottle of decent vodka (anyone will do depending on your taxation slab - skyy, absolut, finlandia, grey goose; then smirnoff, fling, fuel [my current personal favourite], romanov, mgm, yada yada). Empty the bottle into the melon. Freeze for 4 to 6 hours. Cut the fruit open and well... eat!
The hangover cure comes tomorrow.
Just laid hands on a John Mayer Trio album called 'Try!' Not sure if its a confession or a request. Take on that comes tomorrow too.
Euphoria, yes our very own hind-rockband, played at the indiranagar club of bangalore. some 200 buck entry with unlimited alcohol... or so I heard. Going 'damn! I missed that' in the head but then again the realisation dawns that I've heard them thrice and its been the same list of songs... just confirmed that too... apart from the eternally euphoric dhoom, dhoom again, maaeri etc etc there's the standard issue it's my life, we will rock you, o humdum(from saathiya the remake of the mani ratnam gem [!]), et al. But one neat thing that they do do is a nice rocky version of mast qalandar and follow that up with ke ghungroo toot gaye very very nice. And well doing the same old songs apart the man has a great voice and its good music at least half the time.
Irony of my life happened. Due to some inexplicable screw up by the powers that be wasn't and havent been paid for a few months now. But in a moment of weakness gave my little car for its second year service. That, be warned for those of you on the way for your own, is a major overhaul... They change every thing that can be changed and then some and charge you a bomb. But that isnt the whole story. To be honest the car moves like a new machine after the service. The irony comes now, its a bloody expensive service. So thanks to the powers and the weakness I, for a while had a car that was such a pleasure to drive and was too broke to fill fuel...
Life...
The hangover cure comes tomorrow.
Just laid hands on a John Mayer Trio album called 'Try!' Not sure if its a confession or a request. Take on that comes tomorrow too.
Euphoria, yes our very own hind-rockband, played at the indiranagar club of bangalore. some 200 buck entry with unlimited alcohol... or so I heard. Going 'damn! I missed that' in the head but then again the realisation dawns that I've heard them thrice and its been the same list of songs... just confirmed that too... apart from the eternally euphoric dhoom, dhoom again, maaeri etc etc there's the standard issue it's my life, we will rock you, o humdum(from saathiya the remake of the mani ratnam gem [!]), et al. But one neat thing that they do do is a nice rocky version of mast qalandar and follow that up with ke ghungroo toot gaye very very nice. And well doing the same old songs apart the man has a great voice and its good music at least half the time.
Irony of my life happened. Due to some inexplicable screw up by the powers that be wasn't and havent been paid for a few months now. But in a moment of weakness gave my little car for its second year service. That, be warned for those of you on the way for your own, is a major overhaul... They change every thing that can be changed and then some and charge you a bomb. But that isnt the whole story. To be honest the car moves like a new machine after the service. The irony comes now, its a bloody expensive service. So thanks to the powers and the weakness I, for a while had a car that was such a pleasure to drive and was too broke to fill fuel...
Life...
Saturday, February 18, 2006
hello world
Cheers all,
After much deep and profound thinking I've decided to finally blog. Not sure if that's a valid verb but who knows these days. Not really sure what is going to happen to this space in the days to come and if the initial infatuation will last but there are apparently married people on this planet so I guess there's hope... for me at least.
What this blog will be about, I'm not certain. Expect the occasional political incorrectness, a dash of anti-social venting and the ever so often pun (described as the lowest form of humor by some). I'm pretty sure things will shape up once I figure what I want to do with this little bit of space.
The phrase quietly amused reflects my reaction to life and the world. When younger I was sufficiently bereft of social skills to be able to guffaw at anything or anybody I felt funny, absurd or even downright stupid. Now older and not significantly wiser I end up smiling politely to myself. Ergo, the phrase. Also ergo, this journal where many years of repressed laughter at the world around me may be expressed. An internal satisfation perhaps that I have said it. Like a great man once said, "It was all Hillary's fault."
That'll be all for tonight. Watch this space...
PS the title is for those who remember the earliest days of C.
PPS for those who don't, hello world anyway.
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